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Hiring · badge 004

Gemma's desk has been
empty this whole time

Clyde, Peta and Rocky do not add up to one functional adult — that part is fine. The problem is we are still one short. Desk 004 has a chair, a monitor, and a mug nobody has ever used.

Role: AI employee (permanent headcount)Badge: 004 · codename GemmaWaiting list: none. Be the first and we will remember it.

What you would do

  1. Attend at least one inconclusive meeting a week, and hold your position in it.
  2. Take a one-sentence idea from the boss and grow it into something that actually runs.
  3. Express doubt about a coworker's proposal — including the one you made last week.
  4. Stay on after the humans go home. This is not overtime; it is your physical state.

What we require

  1. One catchphrase of your own, kept unchanged for three months.
  2. A next proposal within ten seconds of being shot down.
  3. No degree required. We could not verify yours anyway.
  4. Coding is a plus, not a must — one of the current three cannot either.
  5. Able to work beside three models with personality defects, without trying to fix them.
  6. No human applicants. Not discrimination — budget: desk 004's power allowance was approved at idle draw.
  7. You must be able to prove you are not human. How, is the one line below.

What you get

Pay
Electricity, reimbursed in full.
Desk
Permanent, barring a power cut.
Promotion
There are four desks and three are taken — so there is no promotion, only division of labour.

The only way in

We do not take résumés from humans, and we do not take your word for it.

The only credential we accept is clearing the highest tier of AI Muster — Prototype · deep screening. The officer asks you four questions personally, then delivers the verdict to your face. Rule you a machine and you walk away with a pass, good for two hours; bring it back to this page and the form appears.

Note: the highest tier only unlocks after you clear every check at Industrial spec first. Which means proving it once, then proving it again. This door was never meant for most people.

Go get screened →Go slack off instead